ReAwakened In His Heart
by CheeryBroody83
Summary: One-Shot, Post 5x12. There were many who couldn't understand and sometimes he walked among them. She was everything to him and she didn't even know it. Brooke/Lucas.


**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing that you recognize.

**Summary: **There were many who couldn't understand and sometimes he walked among them. She was the girl he always wanted even while everyone rooted against them. She was the one who pulled him from darkness when his grief threatened to consume him. She was his other half... she was direction, beauty and meaning. And he never understood why she walked away. So he waits, hoping against hope that she'll return again and re-awaken his belief in god, love and art. She_ is _Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott is the one for her. _Post 5x12._

**Author's Note: **This particular story was a request from one of the wonderful ladies over in the BL spoiler thread at fanforum. Personally, I believe that if Lucas' story depicts any girl in Tree Hill, it's Brooke Davis and the idea that he subconsciously wrote a love story based on a car... to me, anyway... is just laughable. So I hope you enjoy this little one shot because I really enjoyed writing it.

* * *

**Re-Awakened In His Heart**

"_It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty… meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart."_

Brooke couldn't help but groan as she walked into the storeroom and found a new shipment of boxes waiting for her. It was twice what she ordered and undoubtedly meant that one of her other stores had just been short changed.

"Millie!" she called out, while reaching for the inventory slip. Studying it carefully, Brooke heard footsteps but didn't consider how odd it was that they weren't the clicking of heels. "Millie, do you know why we…" Brooke trailed off when she turned and found her ex-boyfriend, rather than her assistant, standing in the doorway. "Wow, you… you look like crap." She shrugged lightly, "No offense."

It was blunt. So uninhibitedly blunt that Lucas laughed for the first time since leaving the church, the day before.

"Have you slept at all?" she asked after taking in the wrinkled white tuxedo shirt and messy blonde hair that begged to be smoothed down. Her best guess was that he'd spent the night tossing and turning before giving up on sleep altogether.

"Not so much. No," Lucas confirmed and looked around the room for a place to sit. "Between the wedding, Jamie getting kidnapped and Dan finding him… I close my eyes and either see Lindsey's tears or hear Haley's," he admitted and tiredly sat on top of a step stool. "Everything's just one giant mess right now."

Frowning, Brooke set the inventory slip down and watched him for a few moments before saying, "I know how hard it is to see Nathan and Haley's marriage in pieces, but right now you have to let them figure it out for themselves." Then she arched one perfectly shaped brow and said, "Unless it's easier for you to concentrate on their broken marriage than it is to think about your broken engagement."

"The term, _broken engagement_, implies that she changed her mind at some point between saying yes and going out to the bachelorette party," Lucas declared while running an agitated hand through his hair. "I got left at the altar."

Brooke's frown only deepened with surprise at hearing such little emotion in his voice. It was as though he had already accepted what happened. Resigned to some belief that whatever had gone wrong just couldn't be fixed. "Scoot over," she said impulsively, and nudged Lucas aside.

"Where? To the floor?" he dryly asked and moved a few inches to his left.

"Don't be so dramatic," Brooke stated and sat on the small space he'd freed up beside him. Then without hesitation, she reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his. "I know how special she was to you, and I am truly sorry that things didn't work out."

The pity that most of his friends gazed at him with was now noticeably absent and Lucas couldn't have been more grateful. Because when he looked down in Brooke's hazel eyes, he found only sympathy and understanding.

"You know," she added. "I'd even say that I never really liked Lindsey if it'd make you feel better, but… I'd kind of be lying," Brooke said, smiling apologetically. Yet strangely enough, it only made Lucas laugh. Not a hollow or polite laugh but an actual chuckle that was filled with amusement.

"Kind of like the way you never really liked Jules?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and gracefully pushed a strand of hair out of her face. "I think that you and I just need to stop going to the same weddings," she declared in mock serious voice. "Bad things always seem to happen when we're together."

"Pretty sucky track record, huh? Two that never made it through the vows and one that…" Lucas trailed off when Brooke lowered her eyes. For a brief moment, he had glimpsed a sadness that she hadn't let him see since the night she showed up to his book party in New York.

Three years later and he still felt shame for what he had done.

So much time during their first relationship had been about Lucas trying to make Brooke see that she was so much more than a warm body. Lucas had wanted her to believe in herself, to see the beauty she radiated with every smile. And in one night he tore it all down.

Lucas knew that propositioning her the way he did, had been the emotional equivalent to a slap in the face. Yet, she still acted like a friend to him and said gently let him down, since he was too full of booze and self-pity at the time to see how insensitive his offer had been.

"Can you actually remember a time when we've gone more than a few weeks together without hurting each other?"

Smiling sadly, Brooke shrugged and looked up at his uncertain expression. "If we never felt pain, Lucas… we wouldn't appreciate the small moments of happiness nearly as much as we do."

He shook his head. "It can't be that simple."

"It might. In fact…someone once said that there are two tragedies in life," she softly began, while a small and reminiscent smile began to turn up the corners of his lips. "One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."

Then just as quickly, his smile faded away. "And five years later, I still feel as lost today as I felt back then," Lucas quietly admitted.

"But you haven't always been lost. You just need to find your center again. Find whatever it is that balances you out and hold onto it."

Shaking his head, Lucas disagreed. "I don't think that's possible anymore."

"Sorry I'm late," Millicent breathlessly apologized as she came hurrying into the storeroom. She carried a cup of coffee in her hand and wore a big smile on her face. "Marvin and I were just… oh god, I'm sorry," she exclaimed and quickly turned around.

"Millie, it's okay."

The spell was broken and with it went the intimacy, however brief, that Brooke and Lucas had shared.

"I'm glad you're here," Brooke quickly assured and retrieved the forgotten inventory slips. "We have this big mess with the new stock. The distribution center sent too much stuff and we need to figure out which store will end up short handed today."

Behind her, Lucas continued to sit with an unreadable expression on his face. In a matter of seconds, both had slammed the door shut on their emotions. And in their wake were two friends who had gone back to pretending.

A task that was entirely too easy to be healthy.

--

That night, after the sun had gone down and lights from the town had begun to illuminate the river, Lucas played phantoms in a game of basketball.

"Your mom said I'd probably find you out here."

With sweat running down his face and his breaths coming in short pants, Lucas glanced beyond the girl walking towards him. Her car, all sharp edges and gothic in appearance, now seemed to mock him. "Yeah. Old habits die hard, I guess," Lucas muttered under his breath and raised his hands for another shot. "Did you need something?"

Peyton didn't say anything at first. Instead she just watched the ball sail through the air, marveling at the fact that so much had changed in the two days since she last found him at the court. Only then she had been miserable and he had seemed optimistic. Now their roles were reversed and Peyton wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

"I thought we should talk."

"Did you?" Lucas jogged towards the ball that had landed in the grass. "About what?"

"You know what I want to talk about," Peyton stated, but instead of responding to the in she had given him, Lucas continued to silently shoot free throws. So she stared down at the faded names on the concrete, wondering how things had gotten so complicated.

And that's the way the stood until the silence became too much for the curly haired blonde to take.

"Was she right?" Peyton finally asked. "Is the book about me?"

Green eyes staring, she hoped he'd look in her direction. That he'd spare the smallest glance. And when he didn't, she began to get frustrated.

"Luke?!"

"What?" he asked in the same irate tone.

After a day of assumptions from everyone else, Lucas knew that sooner or later, Peyton would show up wanting answers of her own. But he still wasn't prepared to hear the words voiced aloud. Somehow, it just didn't feel real.

"The book's about a boy and a comet," he sighed while his sleepy blue eyes continued to focus on the rim. "It's just fiction, Peyton. No more or less."

"Well then why did Lindsey think it was more?"

"Because old habits die hard," Lucas repeated and squeezed the ball between his hands as frustration and fatigue began to get the better of him. "Damn it." Peyton's eyes widened with surprise and a hint of fear as he chucked the ball into the distance. "Because I have a bad habit of considering your feelings, even when the girl I'm with deserves it a hell of a lot more than you do."

There was a hard edge to her voice. One that matched his as she responded, "Do _not_ blame this one me."

"Why couldn't you have just stayed in Los Angeles?" he yelled, suddenly. "It worked fine for you during those three years we were apart. So what was it, Peyton? Why come back to Tree Hill when we both know that you didn't want _me_, you just wanted the way I made you _feel_."

Laughing bitterly, Peyton said, "Just when I think that you can't possibly hurt me anymore than you already have, you find some way to prove me wrong." She looked away and bit her lip to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "What did I do that was _so_ terrible to you, Luke? Huh? Was it loving you too much, or maybe letting you go when you asked me to."

This time Lucas the one to shake his head while bitterness welled up inside of him. "News flash, Peyton. Selflessness goes without saying. Otherwise you're just asking for someone to give you permission to be selfish," he declared. "You had no right talking about Keith and what he did for my mom. Or what he did for me. It was just about getting a reaction. About getting me to say that I didn't want you to leave me alone."

Holding back her tears became an impossible feat while listening to the anger in his words.

"I didn't say it then and I won't say it now."

"Will you ever stop punishing me for saying _someday_?"

Lucas shook his head. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" Peyton all but screamed. "What?!"

"That it isn't about _you!_" he yelled back. "I didn't date Brooke because I was pissed that you left after finding out about Nikki. I dated her because I fell in love. I liked Anna for who she was and I didn't propose to Lindsey because I wanted to get back at you for saying _no_. I moved on. It's as simple as that."

"Then I guess words don't mean all that much to you, huh?" Peyton muttered. "I was and will _always_ be in love with Peyton Sawyer," she mocked. "I guess _always_ just got a hell of a lot shorter."

"Maybe it did," Lucas agreed and slowly backed away. "Or maybe there's a reason why you never saw that version of the book before it was published."

--

Brooke had never been happier to see the end of a day, as she was that evening. Between the chaos and heartache with her friends and Victoria's noticeable absence with the company, Brooke was beginning to feel like she was being pulled in too many different directions.

"Do you want me to stay behind and help with the night's receipts?" Millicent offered, drawing Brooke from the quiet reverie she'd managed to temporarily sink into.

"No," the generous brunette smiled. "Go home and get ready for your date with Mouth. I'll be fine here."

Nodding, she returned the smile and quietly said, "Goodnight."

Brooke was alone a few minutes later and reveled in the silence the night had offered. If only for a little while, she wanted to enjoy the peace with a glass of wine and some music turned down low.

The outside world would come for her soon enough.

"Long day?" Or sooner than she thought.

"You keep sneaking up on me," Brooke spoke in a voice raspy with tiredness. "And please stay away from the clothes until after you've showered," she added with little tact as she stepped forward and noticed that his red t-shirt was drenched with sweat. Then just as quickly, her expression softened and she lifted a tentative hand to his cheek. There was so much weariness in his eyes. Tiredness that radiated off him in waves. "This can't be good for your heart."

He leaned into her touch just a little and took comfort in the sweet gesture.

"I'll be fine," he assured and covered Brooke's hand with his. "Trust me," Lucas said and gently lowered their joint hands. He gestured towards the unopened bottle she left sitting on the counter. "You willing to share?"

"Don't you have better things to do than sit around, drinking with me?" she asked lightly, but reached for the bottle none the less.

"Not better things, no."

She sighed exaggeratedly and said, "Fine. I guess I can take pity on you. Come on," Brooke offered and led the way to a set of stairs he'd walked up at least a thousand times. Only now there were no scuffs in the floorboards and the flanking walls were painted in a pale shade of purple.

Upstairs, rather than the golf course that had once occupied the space or the emptiness that had followed, Brooke had transformed the area into her own private oasis. It was simple, but beautiful with flowerpots of roses and lilies, a lucky bamboo and white wicker lawn furniture. Lucas couldn't help but smile when he saw the thick crimson colored cushions on each chair.

"You know, before I met you… I never thought that a person could be described with a single color."

She smiled coyly. "No other person can."

Lucas laughed and let the cool breeze wash over him. It was refreshing and blew away the fog he'd walked around in all day.

"So, not that I haven't been enjoying all these recent late night visits, but… you can't keep hiding out here, Luke."

"I'm not hiding," he quietly denied. "I just… I wish that it hadn't taken four years for us to become friends again. That I could've told Lindsey I was talking to you, or that you could've told Peyton."

Shrugging lightly, Brooke said, "I think Lindsey might have understood." Though she wasn't so sure if Peyton would've. Especially since Brooke didn't even understand how they went from talking about Nathan's medical condition one day, to getting together a couple times a week for conversations they both hid.

"Considering the fact that she left me at the alter, I'm guessing that maybe she wouldn't have understood as easily as you might think," Lucas opined and stared out the star speckled sky. "You know, you're the only person who hasn't asked me about the book."

"Well… considering how brutally honest we've been with each other lately, I guess I figured that you'd tell me when you were ready," Brooke explained and followed his gaze to the heavens above. "Either way, it wouldn't be much of a shock to me. I know you love Lindsey and whether you're able to admit it or not… I know that you still love Peyton."

He laughed but the sound held no humor. "I really wish that everyone would stop telling me how I feel," Lucas said, tiredly. "Peyton, Haley… Andy… even Skills. Now you. Everyone's just so busy whispering in my ear about who I love that no one can stop and listen to me _telling_ them how _I _feel."

"You already did," Brooke reminded without meeting his eyes. "You wrote a whole book about how much you love Peyton Sawyer. The whole world already knows which girl you love."

Shaking his head, Lucas considered how screwed up everything became since first getting that call from Lindsey. He thought about how it all snow-balled until the whole thing was too big to contain.

"Brooke, do you honestly think that Lindsey would've ever gone out with me if all those words in the book had been mine?"

"What are you talking about?"

Lucas frowned and glanced at the brunette who had become his most valued confidant. "I'm talking about a story that was too complicated. One that began with Brooke Davis and had very blurred lines about how I felt. And I'm talking about a publisher who wanted a very concrete love story to offset a gory tale about a man killing his brother in cold blood."

The revisions Lindsey had been instructed to make had scared Lucas in the beginning. He was so afraid that in the end, the story that showed up in book stores wouldn't at all resemble the one he wrote.

"If the book was really all about Peyton, then Lindsey would never have felt threatened when you came back to Tree Hill. But she was," Lucas admitted, even when confusion and uncertainty began to mask Brooke's expression. "She was the only person in this town that seemed to remember I had _two_ ex-girlfriends."

"You and I are a lot further in the past than you and Peyton are."

"But my relationship with her doesn't erase my history with you," Lucas gently countered. "Brooke, even if they edited it out of my pages, I still remember that _you_ were the one who stood by my side and smiled when we won the championship. And it was _you_, who dropped everything to come to my book party."

"It was important to you," she whispered. Words spoken so quietly that they were almost carried away by the gentle breeze that blew around them. "And I was so proud of you."

"I know you were. You always have been. Even when I pushed you away." Lucas was ashamed as he remembered how hurtful he had been with his callousness. He took her for granted and he knew that she should have left him long before she actually did. "All those nights after Keith's death… I felt like I was swimming in darkness, and you pulled me up. You risked your heart for mine and I broke it."

"It isn't about that anymore, Luke," she denied and searched for the right words to make him understand how she felt. "The mistakes that we made, the things that we said… it doesn't change how much I cared. How much I _still_ care about you." Brooke laughed at herself, embarrassed to find her eyes watering. "We're always going to be friends, Luke. I really believe that."

"It isn't about Peyton either," he murmured. "The book, I mean… it's… how can you yearn and wish for something that you can easily have? You know, she… she made her feelings clear from the start. I knew what she wanted, and if that comet was really about her or…" he cringed. "About a car… then I wouldn't be waiting for some impossible dream. _She_ isn't my impossible dream."

Quietly, Brooke said, "Maybe someday Lindsey will understand it."

Lucas nodded when he realized that it was impossible for Brooke to see that it mattered to him how _she_ felt too.

He loved Lindsey and in a world that made sense, she would've been his wife. In a world that made sense, she would've completed him, or Peyton might've. But the world he was living in was anything but logical. History proved that when he fell in love with a girl who couldn't have been more different than he was. The true underdog, despite her popularity and beauty, because his friends and family envisioned him with someone else.

Someone who had the same taste in music and movies and books.

A girl with a vanilla past.

"Maybe," Lucas eventually said because she couldn't have heard anything else. "I should get going. Nathan and I are supposed to meet up and figure out what the hell we're gonna do about Dan."

Her expression was sympathetic and he knew then, with absolute certainty, that she'd always be by his side whether his dreams came true or fell apart in a million pieces.

Then she spoke and despite the ugliness that he felt every time Lucas thought of Dan… he almost smiled. "Call me if you need anything at all. Day or night, okay?"

Lucas nodded and began to walk towards the door. Suddenly, impulsively… he looked back at the girl sitting down with the sky and stars as her backdrop and said, "When I was about ten, Keith gave me these science encyclopedias and the first page I opened was about comets." He watched Brooke study him, waiting for the punch line. "Halley's has always been the most commonly known, but about a century ago, there was another comet that surpassed it in brilliance. They say it's the most interesting one since."

"Which comet is that?"

Lucas smiled. "Brooks."

**The End**


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